Finally Able To Breathe
by PsychoticLovely
Summary: Luke asks Jess a very important question and Jess finally has some one to talk to.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello darlings, just wanted to say that I don't own Gilmore Girls, or any of these amazing characters.**

* * *

One Saturday morning while I was sitting in the couch reading a book, Luke came through the door and walked up to me. I glanced up, "hey", I greeted him. He nodded and sat down next to me.

"What?" I asked annoyed. He sighed, "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Now, don't you have a diner to run at the moment?"

"It's slow right now; Caesar can take care of it."

I sighed. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? "So what did you want to talk about?" I asked looking back at my book. Luke snapped his fingers. "Jess, I'm up here, get your head out of your book, this is important."

I sighed again and closed my book and set it on the coffee table. "What's so important that it couldn't wait until later?"

"You", I laughed "seriously Luke I'm not that amazing" I heard him sigh.

"I need to talk to you about why you came here." Okay now I was nervous. Did he know? He couldn't know. No one did.

"Wh-What about it?"

"Why do you sound nervous all of a sudden Jess?" "No reason, um what did you want to know?"

He turned so he was facing me more. "Jess I want to know why you were sent here. When Liz said she needed me to take you in she said you got in trouble but she didn't say what and thought it wasn't any of my business because I didn't even know you but I do now and I want to know what trouble you got in."

I scoffed, "I didn't get in any trouble, Liz just didn't want to be a parent anymore."

"It may be true that Liz didn't want to be a parent anymore but that's not why she sent you here, now what did you do?"

I looked down at my shoes. I was hoping he'd buy that excuse. "I didn't do anything wrong Luke, she had to send me here, because she hated me."

Luke put his hand on my shoulder. "Jess, your mom doesn't hate you, she loves you. Why would you think she hates you?"

I looked down again, "because I did something bad."

"What did you do?"

I sniffed; I could feel tears coming on, and I hated it. Why did I have to be pathetic?

"I cut myself"

I heard his sharp intake of breath and he let go of my shoulder. "You what?" Now I heard anger in his voice.

"I um… started cutting myself." "Why would you do that Jess?"

I could feel the tears coming out of my eyes now. I wiped them with the back of my hand.

"I don't know, I just wanted to feel something I guess, but Liz found out one night when I was washing the dishes. She started talking to me and I rolled up my sleeve like an idiot and she grabbed my arm and turned it over and then just walked away like nothing happened. She hasn't talked to me since then, except when she said I was coming here but even that was only a couple words."

"Aw Jess, I'm sorry." I looked up at him, "Can I go now?" He shook his head "Why not."

"We need to talk about you cutting yourself, when did you start?"

"A while back, I don't remember when, it just sort of happened, and then I couldn't stop."

"But you stopped after you came here right?" I looked away "You haven't?" I shook my head. "How many times have you done it while you were here?"

"A lot"

"How much is a lot Jess?"

"Um…mostly every day." I looked up at him, he looked really mad now. I leaned back from him, afraid he might hit me or something.

"Every day? When did you have time to do it every day, you go to school and then work at the diner until closing?"

"I mostly do it at night, or um, in the shower because the blood washes away and then I don't stain anything." He put his hand on my shoulder again and I tensed up and shut my eyes tight, cringing away.

"I'm not going to hit you Jess, calm down, but I want you to know that what you're doing isn't good for you."

"I know."

"You need to stop."

"I know."

"Why haven't you then?"

"Because I'm weak."

"You are not weak Jess, you're a strong person, believe me."

"Look at me, I'm not strong, I'm a horrible person, I'm weak and stupid. I hate myself."

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees with my head in my hands. I was crying again.

"Listen, I'm going to help you through this okay? We can get through this. You're going to stop cutting yourself and maybe we can get you into some sort of counseling, you need someone to talk to."

I looked up at him, "Can't I just talk to you? I don't want to go to counseling."

"You want to talk to me?"

"Well it's better than talking to some therapist." He nodded "Okay, we'll talk, but first you need to show me the cuts."

I looked up at him "Why?"

"Just to make sure you didn't mess up something important and so I can confirm if I need to take you to the doctors or not."

"I don't need to go to the hospital, everything's fine, I'll stop and the cuts will heal and then it will all be good."

"I still need to see your arm Jess, just please let me look."

I sighed and rolled up my sleeves and passed my arm to Luke. He grabbed the sides of my wrist but two fingers and just looked at my arm. "Do you hate me now too Uncle Luke?"

He let go of my arm and looked up at me, "I will never hate you, I love you and I'll always love you, don't forget that okay."

I nodded and I felt his arms come around me. I wrapped my arms around him and put my face in his neck. When we pulled apart he looked at me, "Is it okay if I tell Lorelai?"

"Why would you tell Lorelai?" I asked.

"Because you've given me a lot to handle and I'm not that sure I know how to deal with it and I need someone to talk to about all this, but I won't tell anyone unless it's ok with you."

"Um I guess its okay, you need someone to talk to, I understand."

"I'm here for you Jess, don't forget that, I'll always be here."

I smiled a little bit, "thanks Uncle Luke." He smiled.

"I think I'm going to take a walk now, is that okay?"

He looked at me for a little bit and then said "yeah, just be safe okay?"

"Okay."

I left and went to the bridge to sit for a while.

**TBC.**

* * *

**Please Review, I need to know if I should continue, tell what you think should happen next. What do you want to see happen? Let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello darlings, here's another chapter for you. Hope you enjoy**

**By the way - I don't own Gilmore Girls or any of the delicious characters.**

* * *

I've been lying on the bridge for about two hours now and Luke hasn't come looking for me so I guess he's telling Lorelai at the moment. Should I tell anyone? I'm not really that close to anyone and I already told Luke, that's enough.

I forgot to bring a book when I came out here so I 'm just dwelling on my thoughts which isn't a really good idea because that's how I began cutting myself in the first place.

I sat up on the bridge and let out a breath. What was I going to do? What happens when the town finds out about everything, and they will find out because Luke's telling Lorelai. I sighed and brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I put my face down and tried to breathe calmly but I was still freaking out on the inside.

After a couple minutes I slowed my breathing and just sat there thinking about nothing. That's better than thinking about something bad right? I was about to get up and head back to the diner when I heard and "Oh" from my right. I looked up and Rory was standing there.

She smiled and walked over to me. "Oh, hi Jess, I haven't seen you for a while, how are you?" She sat down on the bridge next to me.

"I'm…um…I'm fine" I looked away from her and looked at my shoes. It had been a while since I saw her last. Two weeks and three days. I counted. Is that pathetic? I think it is.

She leaned back on her hands and I could see her shirt pull up. She looked nice today. Jean shorts and a blue tank top. I wanted to tell her that but I didn't. She said something first.

"It's nice out here today. A perfect summer day, don't you think?" I laughed a little bit at what she said. Perfect? No today was anything but perfect.

"Yeah perfect alright." I said sarcastically and put my legs over the edge again. Rory looked up at me and smiled.

"Is something wrong, you don't seem like yourself, is this about what Luke is talking to my mom about? I left because they said they wanted to talk alone, so I thought it must be important. Did something happen?"

"Everything's okay, don't worry. I think I'm going to head back to the diner now so I'll see you later."

I stood up and she stood up next to me. "Are you sure you want to leave, I mean we haven't seen each other in what? Two weeks? Don't you want to talk more?'

I smiled a little at her. "Yeah, I want to talk more, just not right now. How about you come by the diner later and we'll talk. That is, if you're not doing anything with Dean or something."

She frowned. "I am doing something with Dean but it should be over by 8 so I could come over then."

"Okay and maybe I'll even have some apple pie for you." She smiled now.

"I'll see you then." She said and walked away. I headed back to the diner and walked inside. Luke wasn't there so I headed up to the apartment. I walked through the door and saw Luke sitting on the couch and Lorelai sitting next to him. I slowly walked in the door and shut it behind me.

When I walked in Luke jumped up and came over to me.

"Hi Jess, you doing okay?"

"I…um…yeah I'm doing fine." I looked over at Lorelai and she smile at me. Luke put his arm around my shoulder and started walking me over to the couch.

"That's good Jess, listen, Lorelai and I wanted to ask you some questions okay?" There was no way I was getting out of this so I just nodded.

"I told Lorelai about what happened and we just wanted to ask you a few things about it." Luke led me to the chair across from the couch and I sat down. I tugged my sleeves down a little bit and then folded my arms over my chest.

Lorelai smiled at me again and leaned forward. "Hi Jess."

"Um...Hi" I said back and scooted farther back in the chair.

"Luke and I wanted to know a few things and first thing I guess is we want to know when you started and when was the last time you cut yourself?" She looked serious now.

"Why do you need to know that?"

"Because we care you and we need to know the details."

"You care about me?"

"Yeah I guess I do, it came to me as a shock too. So are you going to answer our questions?"

I sighed. "About two years ago." I looked away and said to her.

"Okay, and when was the last time you did it?"

"Yesterday" I said and I could feel my cheeks burn. I was embarrassed that she wanted me to tell her all this. It was private. Couldn't it just stay that way?

"Have you ever tried to kill yourself Jess?"

I looked at her now. "No. it's not like that. I don't want to die."

"Jess, do you want to stop cutting yourself?"

"Yeah" I whispered and looked down at my shoes. I didn't realize it before but I really wanted to stop. I didn't want to hide anymore. I didn't want to hurt anymore, and telling Lorelai just lifted a huge weight off my chest.

"Thanks for talking to me Jess. Listen Luke and I are going to help you okay? You don't need to go through this alone, we can just keep it between us but I think we need to tell Rory about this."

"Why?"

"Because she's going to be wondering what's going on if the three of us just go off and talk and don't tell her anything."

She was right. Rory should know what's going on.

"Okay, Rory was going to come to the diner tonight so we could talk and I'll tell her then."

"Do you want us to be there?" Luke asked.

"No, I'll tell her by myself." Luke smiled at me.

"Okay then, well I think I'm going to head home now." Lorelai said and then stood up and walked over to me. She put her hand on my shoulder. "Jess, everything's going to be okay. Remember that."

I nodded at her and she smiled and then left. I let out a sigh when I heard the door shut. I looked over at Luke and he was smiling at me. "What?"

"I'm proud of you Jess. For admitting you had a problem and accepting help from Lorelai and me. Especially Lorelai because I know you guys have always had your differences. I'm just really happy you're here and not in New York with your mom. Even if she sent you here for the wrong reasons, I'm glad she did."

I smiled at him. A real, genuine smile and went over and gave him a hug. We pulled apart and I looked at him, "Thanks Uncle Luke." He smiled at me.

"Listen I got to get back to the diner, do you need anything."

I shook my head, "Nah, I'm fine. Do you need any help in the diner?"

He smiled at me, "Yeah, I think I might."

We walked out the door together and I had a feeling that everything would be alright.

I would be alright.

* * *

**Reviews would be much appreciated. Thank you for reading. I promise there will be more to come!**


End file.
